third edition senior sentinel
Posted Tuesday, January 12, 2016 06:29 PM
The Senior Sentinel 
                  “Yesterday’s News Today
                 Thursday October 22, 2015
Wrigleyville Edition                           Cloudy-Warm
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SAAB GETS NEW STARTER

Lasinski-Zimmerman Saab got
a new starter yesterday.  On Monday,
it took Zimmerman an hour just to find
the starter, buried within and under a 
junk yard full of engine parts. The
designing engineer flunked his third
grade finals. 
Yesterday, new starter in hand,
Zimmerman tackled the project in 
early afternoon. Every nut, bolt, wire
etc., nearly impossible to access and
remove, took more dedication than 
that of a novice Buddhist monk. 
Zimmerman took a break at
seven p.m., dined on a ham and 
cheese sandwich on white toast,
fries, and pink lemonade.  Diners
could hear him cursing under his
breath, something about auto
engineers.
By ten p.m., old starter
finally extracted from it’s 
Swedish hiding place.
Zimmerman was then
joined by Mario, the man who
can do anything in a restaurant,
runs everything from kitchen to
cash register.  Mario, observing
the exhausted Zimmerman, and
being a good mechanic, joined
in the Swedish war effort. He
installed the new starter, also
with a few choice words about
stupid engineering.
With battery re-connected,
key inserted, the final test was
initiated.  It worked.  Bottle of 
cheap champagne broken upon
a wheel, fireworks seen and 
heard for miles, the miserable
job was finished, along with 
Zimmerman.
Zimmerman, after replac-
ing tools, etc., to their proper
place, left for home, arriving
totally exhausted at 2:15 a.m.
Hot shower and sleep were
the antidote d’jour.
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